Why do my girlfriends always bring up old scores when they quarrel?

1. Accumulation of emotions

When a girlfriend always brings up old scores during a quarrel, it is probably because of the accumulation of emotions. Everyone has the capacity for emotions. When they are hurt or dissatisfied multiple times over a period of time, emotions will gradually accumulate. And when a quarrel occurs, these ignored or unresolved issues will be stimulated and become the focus of the argument.

For example, if your girlfriend once felt disappointed and sad because her boyfriend forgot an important anniversary, but this problem was not resolved properly If you resolve it, she will most likely bring up this old issue in future quarrels. This is because she is still angry and dissatisfied with her boyfriend's behavior, and the fight gives her an opportunity to vent her emotions.

2. Lack of trust

Another reason that causes girlfriends to settle old scores when they quarrel is the lack of trust. When one party is hurt or betrayed in a relationship, they tend to become suspicious and distrustful of the other party's behavior. This distrust can lead to an argument in which the injured party uses past wrongdoing as evidence to blame the other party.

For example, if your girlfriend once discovered that her boyfriend had an affair with other women, she may bring up this old incident in future quarrels and use it to question whether her boyfriend sincerely treats her. This was because she had doubts about her boyfriend's loyalty, and quarrels became her way of expressing dissatisfaction and fear.

3. Punishment methods

Some girlfriends bring up old scores during a quarrel for the purpose of punishing the other party. When they feel hurt or wronged, they hope to make the other person feel guilty and guilty by mentioning past mistakes.

For example, if your girlfriend feels that her boyfriend does not provide enough care and support, she may mention that her boyfriend has neglected her in the past. . Doing this will help your boyfriend realize his mistake and correct his behavior in the future. However, this punitive quarrel often aggravates conflicts and makes reconciliation more difficult for both parties.

4. Poor communication

Finally, the reason your girlfriend brings up old scores during a quarrel may be due to poor communication. When one party is unable to express their needs and emotions effectively, they will often communicate their dissatisfaction by referring to past mistakes.

For example, if your girlfriend feels that her boyfriend is not paying enough attention and understanding, she may mention that her boyfriend has neglected her in the past. Doing this can make your boyfriend aware of his problem and improve his communication in the future. However, if both parties fail to truly listen to each other's needs and feelings, this type of communication will only exacerbate the conflict.

Girlfriends turning over old scores during quarrels may be due to the accumulation of emotions, lack of trust, punishment methods and poor communication.. Understanding these reasons and taking appropriate steps can help both parties better handle arguments and build a healthy and stable relationship.